Track #257: I Feel the Sky Tumbling Down 257 I Feel the Sky Tumbling Down

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Thanks to my old Padawan, Sarah R., for turning me on to these verses. Until she pointed them out, I never really considered that God might be ambiguous on the subject.

I struggled with parts of this track, for reasons that may be obvious, maybe not. First, the liberal in me really wanted Joshua to qualify his first statement with a Christ-appropriate version of “one cock, no vote.” But Josh resisted me all the way. Finally, I had to let him speak for himself.

Second, I am fully aware that my interpretation of these two verses is a stretch, but then again, that’s half the point. Christian Conservatives are always doing this: stretching scripture so it supports what they want it to say, ignoring parts that don’t, and sometimes just inventing shit out of whole cloth. That said, clearly Old Testament law (per Exodus) considers the death of a fetus to be less significant than the death of an adult. Furthermore, Numbers gives priests somewhat detailed instructions on how to perform an abortion on an adulteress, though admittedly, those instructions are patently absurd, sounding far more like a middle school attempt at making a potion for Professor Snape than an actual abortive (the ingredients are holy water, a clay jar, and dust from the tabernacle floor). Still, it is clear in the verses that God will abort the little fetus if the mother is an adulteress, and yet you don’t ever hear of Republicans trying to carve out exceptions for abortion in the case of adultery.

Finally, Muhammad calling God Josh’s “dad” was a bit of a sticky-wicket. Muslims believe Joshua was a prophet of God, but they don’t believe he was the son of God, so Muhammad wouldn’t say that. However, he wouldn’t say “God” either, and saying “Allah” would be disrespectful to Josh. I like the compromise I came to, especially since it led to one of the funniest gag’s I’ve pulled so far.

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